So I have bee struggling with what to write for the past two weeks. Not that I know why, well then I figured it out. If I write then I have to admit that I have not done the things I should be doing and I am way off with my eating. As some of you may know I follow WW, well, I haven’t tracked, and I mean tracked in months. I know this is what is causing my gains, +.6 the past 2 weeks, but I also feel like my heart is missing something.
I have a lot of great things going on in my life right now and I should be happy, well for some reason I still feel sad, and the sadness leads to the eating and then the guilt and well you all get the picture. Now, on the other had, I am training to complete a 10K and I am getting ready to start my fourth week and have done sort of ok with it. I have to step it up a little, but for the most part I am following it and feel great, so why then can’t I incorporate that into my life in other areas.
Food is my addiction that is why. I know this, I have known it for years and yet I still can’t get a handle on it. I think I was nervous about writing because then I have to admit that I have a problem. Well maybe it is time for me to put it out there publicly. I am addicted to food!! Some are looking at this and thinking, and. Well, for me it is easy, if you were addicted to alcohol you would just stay away from it right, well I am addicted to food and I can’t just stay away from it can I? I have to eat to be healthy, eat to survive. Food is a part of everyone’s life and always will be, so then how does an addict stay away from something that they not only crave but need to live, hmmm.
I guess that needs to be my next step, figuring out how can I make food less of an event and more of the need to survive? Or is that even possible? I need to write down every bit of food that I put in my mouth, no matter how difficult that is for me to see and I need to be honest with myself. I know I am not alone in this that there are others who have the same struggle, maybe we can get through this together, maybe we can hold each other up when we want to fall.