This week has been full of life lessons for me. I have learned a lot about myself over the past few days as well. The main thing I have learned is that I am stronger than I think. I will not let food control me anymore and I have done really well with that under the circumstances. I am making changes in my life and the people that I have in my life. If you can not support me well then the hell with you. Life is too short for me to worry about what everyone else is thinking or doing.
So I met with the nutritionist yesterday and to say that I was overwhelmed was an understatement. She really made me stop and think and really ask myself if I want to do this surgery. i still have not made that decision 100%. Since I started typing this post I have also seen 2 other doctors a lung doctor and the psych doctor for clearance. Although clearance will gladly be given by both they also both feel that I should hold off as I have been doing “amazing” on my own.
So basically since I started this process on July 30 I have lost almost 15lbs and that is with hard work and dedication, wow I feel like I am channeling Biggest Loser in that one. I have changed everything about what I am doing. Now don’t get me wrong I have my good days and bad days but as I said before I am not letting the food control my life. I am making smarter choices and if I have bad or a bad meal then so be it. I am not letting it define me.
you want to lose weight .. DO IT. stop the blaming…
That is what was said to me by someone in my life recently and at first I was angry no wait that doesn’t quite express the emotion I was livid how dare that person say something like that (trust me it wasn’t all that was said). I have struggled for a long time with my weight. You know what though she had a point, I need to stop blaming, the food (not what she meant but how I will spin it). I am the one that chooses to put the food in my mouth and chooses to not change. Now I will say this sometimes it is not as easy as just “DO IT”. There are a lot of other factors that have played into this. At the end of the day I am responsible for own choices and for the food that I choose.
So am I perfect….hell no. I have never claimed to be, I know that I have flaws and some of them are pretty ugly. I also know though that I am on a journey. A journey to be a better person, a better mom, a better wife and most important to show a better side of me.