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Fat To Fit And More

A Journey from Fat to Fit through Running

Month

January 2015

Mind F***

So this was me…

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It is from 7/18/14 my girls (twins) bday.

This is me now (taken this afternoon)…

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Can you see the difference!!  I sure can.  So that is what almost 40lbs will do.  Here is the thing though, when I look in the mirror or when I think about what I look like, I see the 1st picture not the second.  I still see me at almost 230lbs, I still see the person who was/is so uncomfortable in my own skin.  I don’t know if I will ever see this new person.  Trust me this new person really is a new person.  I run now, yes me I run.  I struggle every day with food choices and with getting my butt to the gym, but clearly I am doing something right.  So why do I still worry that I will eventually fail?

This is partially where the Mind F*** comes into play.  My mind is so f’ed up that no matter what I do or who much I change I still feel like the fat girl in the room, I feel like I will never be able to be different.  Now I know that isn’t true.  Hell I have proven it to myself every time I run another mile and ever race I complete (4 to date).  I want to see this new person, I want to see the better version of me.  I don’t think it is a new version or an old version I just think this person I have become is a better person.

Here is to hoping I continue on this amazing journey and keep going in the direction I was meant to go.  Moving forward now and always.

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Weekly Meal Prep

So most of the day was spent today prepping.  I have to go back to work tomorrow, who doesn’t, and so I needed to get back on track with my eating.  So today I spent the morning cooking.  Well that is after my gym workout ( ran 1.5 miles and then did 1 mile on the elliptical) and grocery shopping.  So these are the recipes I used and so far so good on the taste.

First, I tend to go to the gym on an empty stomach so I thought let’s try something different.  I used turkey pepperoni and green peppers in a muffin pan and then added egg whites so I have egg white muffins.  A lot of people have done variations of it and I am hoping they taste ok (will try in the am).

Second I need some snack options so I made these…

http://ifoodreal.com/whole-wheat-strawberry-banana-protein-muffins/

and then these….

http://cleananddelicious.com/2012/06/15/jaime-easons-turkey-meatloaf-muffins/

For lunch today we had tomato basil and mozzarella chicken sausage (yummy), so for my lunches for the week I took the casing off of 3 of the sausage, made some quinoa and added black beans.  Mixed them all together split it into 3 meals for lunch/dinner for myself at work all week.

And finally for dinner today we are having chicken fajita casserole…

http://www.thepinningmama.com/2014/08/21/easy-fajita-chicken-bake-recipe/

The week is planned!!  I have tuna to have for my other meal at work and flat out wraps which are yummy as well.  I also cut up peppers and have those in a container for just picking during the week. Whew that is a lot.  But hopefully it will all work itself out and be delish.  On a side note I am having issues with my running shoes and need to figure it out and quick!!!

change

I took a break for a while from writing. There were some issues previously with a person in my life not being happy with what I was writing.  I guess that is part of the process.  So since July so many things have happened.

I have decided to not have weight loss surgery.  I have been going to the gym and I have started running.  Yes I said running, who would have thought that was even possible.  Well I have run 4 (5K’s) since September.  3 of which I have run the entire thing, and I have improved on my time significantly. November race 46:20.9, December race 42:53.86, and the 1/1/15 race was 42:28.03.  I would say that is progress.

I have a great trainer at the gym I am going to and he is working with me on improving my overall fitness. I am struggling with the nutrition aspect of life at the moment trying to conquer the emotional eating and figure out why I am making some of the choices I am making.  That is probably the hardest part of this journey.  I have lost almost 30lbs and I am so much healthier but still feeling like I am failing.  The entire idea of self doubt is just too much and feeling like I can’t be more.  I know I know, maybe the person was right before when they said “the person who writes this needs a therapist”, lol.  Good thing I listened.

Anyway, if anyone has some great healthy recipes send them my way!!!  I would love to hear how you are eating healthy in the new year.

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