So today has been somewhat an emotional day for a very odd reason.  Back in June of 2014 I joined Crunch.  It was the new gym opening less than 5 miles from my house and I thought why not.  I was ready at that point to start making some changes.  On July 3, 2014 I had my first training session.  This is where I met Martin.  Now let me describe Martin to you, wait never mind, just picture your typical young male trainer at any gym and then you have Martin.  My expectation were not high because how could he understand my journey.  I even wrote in my journal (yes I still have one of those too) on 7/24/14 ” I felt like he was telling me I wasn’t trying hard enough. I know my eating needs to change and I understand my progress won’t be the same but I need him to acknowledge little victories”  I didn’t speak up that day to him about it and less than a week later I wrote about how I thought I was bound to fail, nothing had worked so far, blah blah.

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That is a picture from my daughter’s birthday celebration at camp. That is what I looked like when Martin and I first met.

Ten days later I went in for my consult for WLS.  I will never forget when I told Martin I had the consult he asked me why.  He told me he thought I could do it on my own and that I really needed to stay focused.  So maybe he wasn’t the cheerleader I wanted but he was doing it in a way that I realize now worked.  I spent the majority of those first few months doubting myself and my abilities.  I would joke about my weight as a way to hide the pain of how I was really feeling inside.  Yet through it all Martin just kept pushing me forward.  P.S. I didn’t end up having the surgery.

Have we always agreed, hell no.  He hates how much I run but not once did he not say good job when I came in for a session after a race.  We have had our ups and downs and we took a break from training sometime in 2015 only to start again in the summer of 2015.

Well this morning was our last training session at Crunch.  I am not happy with how it all came about and it has nothing to do with Martin (that is for another post).  In the end though I am learning to be ok.  I was emotional this morning, but a little less emotional after the 121 pushups he had me do, lol.  I also know that if I need anything he is a mere text message away.  I have come a long way from 7/3/2014 not just with how much weight I have lost but with the idea that I am letting myself be held back.  I try new things, heck I did a rugged maniac last year.

Some people come into our lives in the most unexpected ways and for that I am thankful.  The banter that Martin I had was a lot like my relationship with my brother.  Never a dull moment when we trained together.  I looked forward to 6:30am Tues and Thurs to hear how short I am or how I act like a child when I don’t want to do things.  I will miss those mornings.  Most of all I will miss the friendship and the motivation and knowing that he was always there to push me further than I thought I could go.

Today though I realize that I am going to Be OK.

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This is me now.  This is the me that can now look in the mirror and almost, almost not see the girl from before (that is an entirely different struggle).  This is the new me.  The me that knows that somewhere somehow, I am good enough. So thank you Martin, thank you for all you have done and for helping this me gain a little more confidence every day.

 

Oh and P.S. although Martin may look the part he is anything but your typical gym guy.

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