Sometimes I just want to give up. Why not? I am the only one in my house that eats the way I do. Meal prepping for myself on Sunday’s is getting old. I am the only one that gets up at 4:30am so that I can get to the gym and home before the rest of the house wakes up. I am tired. I am tired of being the only one who seems to care. I am exhausted mentally and physically.
Yesterday we couldn’t decide what to have for lunch. My husband doesn’t really care because he eats whatever he wants. While yes I know that it is not his fault that I was not thinking of lunch when I went to the grocery store, it doesn’t make it any less frustrating the amount of planning I do to make sure I have a semi healthy meal. Well let me tell you the 300 calorie donut I ended up having for lunch I am sure fit totally in my macros. Actually I don’t know if it did because when I went to go and log the information on the website I use it was down for maintenance.
Sometimes I feel like my life is a comedy of errors. I also think I am frustrated because my weight loss has stalled (yes I know eating a donut for lunch won’t help). So I sit here and contemplate not going to the gym for the 5:30am class, I am already dressed though and know that I will leave in a few minutes. I no longer see the same progress that I used to, people have stopped noticing as well. It has just become common place that I do the things that I do. While it is suppose to be that way, it is hard to wrap my head around all of this.
I am 15-20lbs away from my goal and it seems like it will never happen. I keep getting up at the crack of Dawn every day to bust my ass at the gym and then nothing. I am tracking my food again, upping my water intake, focusing on my macros and here I sit. No closer to goal than I was 3 months ago, maybe even 6 months ago. I know focus on the positive I have maintained this amount of weight loss for almost a year. That is a huge accomplishment that most people can’t say that they ever do. I know there are things that I should be very proud of. Today though, I sit here and contemplate just throwing in the towel.