Sometimes I just want to give up.  Why not?  I am the only one in my house that eats the way I do.  Meal prepping for myself on Sunday’s is getting old.  I am the only one that gets up at 4:30am so that I can get to the gym and home before the rest of the house wakes up.  I am tired.  I am tired of being the only one who seems to care.  I am exhausted mentally and physically.

Yesterday we couldn’t decide what to have for lunch.  My husband doesn’t really care because he eats whatever he wants.  While yes I know that it is not his fault that I was not thinking of lunch when I went to the grocery store, it doesn’t make it any less frustrating the amount of planning I do to make sure I have a semi healthy meal.  Well let me tell you the 300 calorie donut I ended up having for lunch I am sure fit totally in my macros.  Actually I don’t know if it did because when I went to go and log the information on the website I use it was down for maintenance.

Sometimes I feel like my life is a comedy of errors.  I also think I am frustrated because my weight loss has stalled (yes I know eating a donut for lunch won’t help). So I sit here and contemplate not going to the gym for the 5:30am class, I am already dressed though and know that I will leave in a few minutes.  I no longer see the same progress that I used to, people have stopped noticing as well.  It has just become common place that I do the things that I do.  While it is suppose to be that way, it is hard to wrap my head around all of this.

I am 15-20lbs away from my goal and it seems like it will never happen.  I keep getting up at the crack of Dawn every day to bust my ass at the gym and then nothing.  I am tracking my food again, upping my water intake, focusing on my macros and here I sit.  No closer to goal than I was 3 months ago, maybe even 6 months ago.  I know focus on the positive I have maintained this amount of weight loss for almost a year.  That is a huge accomplishment that most people can’t say that they ever do.  I know there are things that I should be very proud of.  Today though, I sit here and contemplate just throwing in the towel.