I have had two very different people in my life tell me within two days that I “don’t need” running. Let me back track a little. As I have mentioned previously running has been my go to for the past two years. When I started this journey of fitness it was what I latched onto, probably because it was easy. Don’t laugh I know a lot of people don’t look at it as easy. I think I mean easy as it was just a natural thing to do. So in these conversations I discussed how I am scared of falling back into my old patterns. Scared of not exercising of eating crappy again not going to the gym etc. I was reminded that even injured I am still doing things.
So two unrelated people both told me I “don’t need” running. I guess I have looked at running as the glue that holds this entire process together. What am I without it? How do I define myself? How to I continue to exercise? Today I was reminded that while running I have been in this awful plateau with my weight, so therefore running has not really helped me. In addition to this injury. Of course this is my trainer speaking and well he hates that I run as does every trainer I have encountered. I am trying to wrap my head around the idea that these two people are correct. I don’t need it but I want it.
So how do I make strength training just as important, how do I find the same enjoyment in that as I do in completing a half marathon. I think that is the issue. When I finish a 13.1 mile race that takes me 2 hours and 45 mins I feel I sense of holy hell what did I just do. I haven’t gotten there with my strength training. While yes I see improvements and yes I see that I can do more and my form is getting better, what else is there with that? So again it is back to the idea that while I don’t need running I want it in my life.
We all have wants though. Most of want to be thinner, want to richer, want to be happier. All wants though and not needs. So how then do I wrap my warped brain around this idea, how do I accept this idea and move forward. There are plenty of people who have actual needs that they can’t obtain and wants much greater than my want to run. I have to look at the fact that there are still so many things I can do (well not today the pain is crazy). I can still pretty much live my daily life minus a few bumps in the road as I figure out where to navigate. The pain is pretty bad today but that is from PT yesterday and I know within a day or 2 I will be back to normal, whatever normal is now.
So I need to keep perspective that it has been 2 years, I have stayed relatively the same weight for over a year now and that is probably harder than losing, to maintain. While I wish for more I have to thankful for where I am at. I do not need running but I miss is and want to be able to do it. Refocusing my goals though and not beating myself up because of things that I am not able to do at this moment.