Why am I so focused on skin removal surgery?  I went for a consult today at a great facility in PA.  I know the surgeon so I figured I would give it a shot and see what he had to say.  On a plus side I am great candidate for surgery.  I am no longer “morbidly obese” his words not mine (yeah) and all should be fine.

The downside continues to be the cost of the surgery.  With it being just over $9K there is no way that I can afford to do something like that.  I am raising two kids and trying to run a successful business.  My husband has a good job but we just don’t have that kind of money to spend on me.  Now people would argue that I have put in a ton of work to get to where I am and why not be happy etc, etc.

I guess my response to that is why can’t I be happy in the body I am in and be proud of the skin and the scars and the extra because it represents how far I have come….  The issue is I guess what I see every say when I look in the mirror. I don’t see the me everyone else sees I constantly see the me who was well over 230lbs and struggling to tie my shoes or to play with my girls.  While I know I am not that person today that is what I still see and seeing that is often very difficult to wrap my brain around.  The skin causes other issues.  If I am not careful I get sores and it makes clothes shopping very difficult.

I can’t guarantee it but I am almost positive some of my injury could be contributed to the skin as well.  I have back and hip issues that I have finally had a doctor agree that this is part of the problem.  However I can’t get the insurance to see it that way.  It has been suggested I travel to Boston there potentially is a team of doctors there that will try and help get it covered by the insurance but that is a distance to go and why can’t the doctors here do the same thing for me???

Advertisements